Incompetent:
1. not legally qualified2. inadequate to or unsuitable for a particular purpose
3. a: lacking the qualities needed for effective action b: unable to function properly
I think definition 3 should read:
3. a: lacking the qualities needed for effective action b: unable to function properly c: Sara
I feel so incompetent when it comes to motherhood. I think there should be a mandatory course people take before they let you take home a baby from the hospital. With your discharge you should have to provide them with some certificate that shows you've successfully completed the course.
We've been struggling with the sleep concept the last 3 weeks. To be honest, we've been struggling with this concept since birth I think. It was rocky the first 6 weeks but then weeks 7, 8, and 9 Kate seemed to be doing better. She was sleeping at least 5 hours her first stretch, sometimes even 6 and twice she slept 7 hours straight. Since week 10 the longest stretch is 3 hours a night and I don't know what the heck happened. When she was first born she wouldn't go to bed until after midnight but gradually as the weeks went on she seemed to be able to fall asleep earlier. Several weeks ago (6 or 7) we decided to start the bedtime routine at 10 pm. This includes bath, bottle, rocking, singing or music mobile. Then about a week or two ago we decided to move it up to 9 since she seemed to be getting tired earlier. She falls asleep pretty well most of the time. So after everything is done she might be asleep by 9:30/10:00. Lately she's waking up between 12:30 and 1:00. So what we normally do is give her a bottle until she falls back asleep which is usually within 20-30 minutes. Then she'll wake up again at about 3:30/4:00, we'll do a bottle again, she'll fall back asleep and wake up again at about 6:00/6:30. We'll repeat the process and she might fall back asleep and sleep from 7:00-8:00. Occasionally it will repeat again and she'll sleep from maybe 9:00-10:00. I don't know what to do, she doesn't need to eat every 2 or 3 hours at night but do I just let her cry in the middle of the night? It's so exhausting but I have no clue how to solve the problem. I've tried the binky instead of the bottle but that usually doesn't pacify her enough to get her to fall back asleep. I just feel like if I don't feed her I'm starving her even though she's eating 3-4 ounces each time. We try to make sure she eats enough during the day and later in the evening so she's not hungry but I just feel like I'm doing something wrong. Do we just keep doing what we're doing and hope she eventually grows out of it (soon) or how do I help her sleep better? I don't think she's getting the sleep she needs....I know I'm not!
2 comments:
I really don't know what to do about that. You think that your baby will sleep 9-10 hours a night and gradually make it down to 7, but still sleep most of the night. I don't know when and if there's a good time to let her cry it out, but it can't be easy doing that. You are by no means incompetent! You're doing the best you can, it's both of your first time so you can't expect to know all the answers. I for one greatly appreciate your honesty with pregnancy and motherhood, it makes me feel like having a baby the "normal" way doesn't necessarily mean you're perfect for the job. I don't mean that disrespectfully, just that carrying a baby doesn't make you more prepared for motherhood than adopting a baby would. You and Keith are doing a wonderful job, you have so much love for Kate, and we know she loves you too. Hang in there, and call me when you need a break!
I had similar problems with my guy. But, I eventually gave him his binki and let him cry, at least one of the times he'd wake up. Also, maybe try feeding her more ounces in one setting... it might satiate her better and help her learn to sleep longer hours? She just might need to know you're there, and the bottle is comforting. Babies tend to wake up every couple of hours and then they fall back asleep (when they know how). She might still be learning how to go back to sleep on her own. YOU are not doing anything wrong, in fact, it sounds like you are doing everything right. Take it easy during her naps, and try and catch some zzz's then. I know it's crazy when you're a mom, your whole life is thrown out of wack! She is darling though!
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