Do you ever have days where you are just so frustrated and hopeless you wish you could take a baseball bat to a pinata and demolish the crap out of it hoping it would make you feel a little better?
I try not to complain, really I do. I try to keep the end in mind with this whole pregnancy thing but seriously....Is having one entire day without pain or discomfort too much to ask? I'm so jealous of those people who say they actually enjoy being pregnant because I've hated every second of it and I still have 16 weeks to go....
Keith went out of town on Monday night to Wyoming and I was having a horrible night so I was wallowing in self pity and agony. I've tried everything to alleviate my back pain. I've even started physical therapy and it just seems to have increased the pain and it's now constant instead of just when I lay down and put pressure on certain spots. I now have pain in my ribs in the front. It hurts when I stand still, it hurts when I sit, it hurts even worse when I lay down. I don't sleep much anymore it takes me several hours to fall asleep and then I toss and turn and wake up in pain several times throughout the night...
Then I get in these moods where I get angry and feel God is punishing me for something or that he doesn't care. I pray and pray and plead and try to search my scriptures for help and guidance and I just feel like He is just gonna let me suffer for the next 4 months. He has the power to take the pain away and He doesn't. I feel my prayers are going unanswered and it doesn't make a difference whether I pray or not so why the heck should I? Then I get those thoughts that are like "well you have to have faith to make things happen" or "you get what you put into prayer" and stuff like that and I just cry more.
I try not to complain, really I do. I try to keep the end in mind with this whole pregnancy thing but seriously....Is having one entire day without pain or discomfort too much to ask? I'm so jealous of those people who say they actually enjoy being pregnant because I've hated every second of it and I still have 16 weeks to go....
Keith went out of town on Monday night to Wyoming and I was having a horrible night so I was wallowing in self pity and agony. I've tried everything to alleviate my back pain. I've even started physical therapy and it just seems to have increased the pain and it's now constant instead of just when I lay down and put pressure on certain spots. I now have pain in my ribs in the front. It hurts when I stand still, it hurts when I sit, it hurts even worse when I lay down. I don't sleep much anymore it takes me several hours to fall asleep and then I toss and turn and wake up in pain several times throughout the night...
Then I get in these moods where I get angry and feel God is punishing me for something or that he doesn't care. I pray and pray and plead and try to search my scriptures for help and guidance and I just feel like He is just gonna let me suffer for the next 4 months. He has the power to take the pain away and He doesn't. I feel my prayers are going unanswered and it doesn't make a difference whether I pray or not so why the heck should I? Then I get those thoughts that are like "well you have to have faith to make things happen" or "you get what you put into prayer" and stuff like that and I just cry more.
7 comments:
Pregnancy IS hard. It IS painful. I've never understood women who feel "fabulous" during pregnancy. I finally had to start seeing a chiropractor again because of the back problems being pregnant caused me. It really helped that last trimester! My ribs were seriously coming apart (it felt like) and my legs cramped 24-7. Now, I feel better, and seeing a professional helped me deal with the pain. But, God does love you! I'm sure He's not "not" taking the pain away, it's just a natural thing that has to happen to transform you body to make it capable of carrying a baby. I know, I know...you've heard it all before. Don't stop praying. You'll feel better soon! And don't feel bad about having pitty parties. You are entitled to as many as you need!
Hang in there Sara! My worst week of my entire pregnancy was also when Steve went out of town. Don't feel bad about complaining, it's totally normal! Just know that it is such a miracle that everything happens for this baby to be there in the first place. You will make it through and it's hard to see the end now, but just know you will look back at even this and say, "It was all worth it! Every second of pregnancy is worth it." Try taking a warm bath before you go to bed, that might help.
Trust me you're normal!! Pregnancy gets worse the bigger the baby gets. I hated sleeping at night I would dread bedtime. Its so FREAKING uncomfortable.
Just try to remember how grateful you are for being able to get pregnant and that you are healthy. It will all be so worth it when you see and hold that baby for the first time. GOOD LUCK!
When I was as far along as you are, I felt the exact same way. The only thing I can tell you is that I don't feel that way anymore. I still don't sleep a lot, but I think I'm used to it and it doesn't effect me as much. I figure it's preparation for when the baby is here. If it's really bad, try an over the counter sleeping pill.
The pain is not as bad either. Again, I don't know if it's just that I'm used to it, but that doesn't matter as long as you feel better.
Just remember that this is the curse women have in life. And that the reward is going to be so so worth it.
I'm sorry you are miserable. I was just telling Marlys yesterday that I don't even remember what it's like to feel good, like really good. I mean you have those days when you feel better than having your head in a toilet but it's not much of a comparison. I just pray that this time goes fast. And God does love you, he just wants you to learn something from this.
Sara,
I'm sorry. If I could take your pain away I would. I pray for you each night that you will feel well. I can only say, thank you for the sacrafice you are making to bring this special spirit into the world. I know Heavenly Father will bless you.
I love you.
I really don't know what being pregnant is like haha but I have been in pain before probably not as much as your experiencing though I know i'm just a kid and probably don't know anything but after I read this post I thought automatically of a song called unanswered prayers by Garth Brooks.. anyways I hope you feel better soon ! : ) <3 kylee
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